Commercials

What is with furniture commercials these days. It seems like if you own your own furtinture business, you have to star in your own commercials. Examples:

Jordan's Furniture

Barry and Elliot started this trend over 10 years ago, I think. Some of the commercials are funny, the first 3 times, but then they start to aggravate me. These dudes are twins who have the exact same slow, monotone, child-molestoresque voices and they don't shut up until you start believing that you must buy a mattress from them. Ironically, these dudes spoke at my college graduation, and their 45 minute speech can be summed up simply as "Think out of the box and you will make shitloads of money like us". On a positive note, they did throw branded frisbees into the crowd. Unfortunately, I didn't get one. Dicks....I'm going to Bernie and Phylls.

Bernie &Phylls

Bernie and Phyll should be driving to the early-bird special somewhere down in Florida. These 90 year old multi-millionaires have nothing better to do than make really cheesy commericals with a horrible tagline: Quality, Comfort and Price- That's Nice. No, B&P, what'll be nice is when you quit acting. I think they are playing the "Oh my, they are so old and everyone trusts old people, so I'll buy my next sofa from them" angle. Obviously, it must be working.

Bob's Discount Furniture

Bob is a complete tool that wears tight Wrangler jeans and plad while trying to convince you that his price CAN'T BE BEAT. Correct that: He BEGS and PLEADS with you that the other guys can't come close to his prices. Recently, he's acquired some acting help from a pretty hot chick (his wife??) who whines and complains that his competitors suck and preaches Bob like his nuts are made of Gold. A typical commercial will have Bob and the chick in the corner of the screen while they cross off high prices with the boring furniture in the background. At first I hated Bob, but I've actually come to the conclusion that he's so dorky that he's actually likable (kinda like Urkel)

Red Stripe Beer

Yeah I know, off-topic. I hate this commercial so much I had to include it. Basically you have this Jamaican dude holding the beer with Reggae music in the background, while some dorky white dude is dancing with the beer in his hand. The Jamaican guy then says "Red Stripe Beer and Reggae!! Helping our White friends dance for 45 years!" Ok back up- as a white guy who can dance pretty well, I'm offended. This is essentially reverse racial profiling. Miller or Bud could never get away with running an ad saying "Miller Lite: Helping Black guys eat less fried chicken since 1867!" Stupid double standards.

On a positive note, its almost FRIDAY and I'm pregnant with my third son. Sweet.